I admit it. I hate chaos and disorder overall. I am hesitant over change or reluctant towards it. I like consistency and structure. I like keeping the system. Yet I have found myself in a pickle.
I mean to say the variable of change is not related to societal structure. It rather deals with an alteration in my own life. I am becoming full aware that I no longer represent a youthful tone.
Face it, I am out of it. I have come to realize that I do not have an inkling of what's trendy for the teenagers out there. I know some fads but not enough to deem me a cool hipster- if that even is a mainstream word anymore for the youth.
I hardly pay attention to the teen geared movies out there. I rarely pick up a blue-ray copy of them at the movie rental store. I didn't see "Prom" or "The Perks of Being a Wallflower." The only Wallflowers out there I know play music. The music band Wallflowers are led by Jacob Dylan (son of the rocker Bob Dylan). They were a hit in the late 1990s.
But like I mentioned, I just am not interested in teen thrillers anymore. Sad to say, that is one phase I have grown out of in passing through this life. In fact, I have sprouted or shot out of some pastimes that I did when I was a young thing.
As I have outgrown my juvenile days, I find myself usually not interested in the music that young tweens listen to. Sure, I like maybe one or two songs that were recorded by some young teenage artists. There's a song by One Direction that actually is pretty good . The song "Story of My Life" is a catchy tune. And some Taylor Swift songs, etc. are not that bad. But for the most part I find the next generation's music rather lacking in depth. At least the songs coming from teenage music groups. The music sounds the same, but has a twist to it.
I have come to terms that I am still the same in some respects too. But I believe life has changed or twisted my tastes in things. For instance, my taste in foods has altered. I now like eating some spicy foods, when as a teenager my taste buds could not handle them. Strange, eh? I also feel that there's more strange things that will shape my life.
I guess my point is I don't know what I'm going to evolve into. What or how will my mind be shaped differently? I don't acknowledge myself to be a coming of youth girl anymore. I am past that. Also, I feel I am not a wise sage either gained from heaps of lifelong experiences.
What has been bothering me is a certain notion. It's a nudge that has inched into my mind. The idea that I am facing a coming storm. A storm of magnitude seems to be on the horizon. It is escalating and going to wash away the old me, and bring in certain new.
I wait before the calm of it.