Where's the Pail-When I Fail?

Photo by Okano on March 27, 2008

I'll be the first to admit.  I have failed in lots of respects.  I mean there are setbacks, and then there are real setbacks.  The kind of setbacks that make you question your worth.  This is a hard topic to bring out in the open, but I'll try.

I have actually cried because when it comes down to it, I have lamented about the way my life turned out.  I have pouted, and stamped my foot at the will of the fates for the way things are in my world.  It just boils down to the feeling that I am a failure.  I haven't amounted to much.  I look back at my aspirations when I was a youngster, and feel like I fall short.

I don't know if I am approaching an early mid life crisis- mind you, but I feel it's something close to that. There were a lot of things I wanted to do and be in my life.  I wanted to travel more, contribute more, and learn how to do things too.

I mean hey, I wanted to be a professional dancer (ballet, modern, etc.)  But that didn't happen.  I wanted to be a doctor.  Yep, I remember watching an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation wherein the doctor, Beverly, was dancing in it.  She was referred to as the "dancing doctor."  And that is what got stuck in my head to become eventually.

But that didn't happen.  A lot has occurred that I can't explain.  Plans change, God rearranges your life, and you endure your strife through His grace.  It's a hard lesson to learn.  And it was for me, as I needed a pail, when I did fail.

One Bible passage has sprung to my mind during my down and out times when I asked, "Where's the pail- when I fail?"

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord,"plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."